I awoke at 5am and looked out the window. The night was lifting and there was a light fog hanging in the morning air. It would be cold outside. I jumped in the shower and had bursts of hot and cold to wake me up. I changed and picked up my passport and money. My bag was packed and ready and I trudged downstairs and straight outside skipping breakfast and my usual large coffee. The bus came shortly and I was on my way. I reached Bristol train station in plenty of time so I waited for the shop to open to buy a sandwich. I sat on the platform and waited for my train. It was still cold but the sky was blue now and the station was becoming busy with life. A man sat near me wearing a nice suit and holding a bunch of flowers. Too late for Valentine's day so he must have done something wrong. I'm a cynic when it comes to romance I suppose.
The train pulled up and I found myself a nice seat in the middle of the carriage. Not one of the 4 seaters with a table though, too exposed. I like to sink down and hide in the doubles, pretend I'm alone in the carriage. I could shout out and no one would reply, the British would be too polite or embarrassed to say anything to a shouting man. Bath, Chippenham, Swindon, Didcot and Reading. I was ready for the change. I alerted the team that I was in reading by phone.
The train to Gatwick was straightforward. No messing around. The ticket inspector seemed like a nice man. Rosy faced with a deep, toothy smile that would not be uncommon among farmhands. I arrived at Gatwick at just passed 12pm. It was not very busy, surprisingly. The flight was not until 4 so I found a corner and drifted off to sleep.
Leaving England
Hugo, Will, George, Dave and Chalky met in Gatwick. Everything was going fine. Chalky had made it down successfully from Clevedon and the flight was on time. Check in was a breeze. The flight was good, firm and well lit. We touched down in Vienna airport on Thursday evening and taxied straight to the Hotel Ruthensteiner, dropped our bags and headed out to the 6 Stars beer and meat factory. After some hefty portions of beer and meat Chalky was sick and Dave went red all over. Schnitzel for everyone. Not feeling so fresh Chalky hopped into a taxi to head home and the others disappeared off into the night. The night made for good drinking as there was no early start the next day.Gin seemed to be the standard drop in the Volksgarten. Dave danced on a podium on his own for most of the night and the others propped up the bar. Off to bed and dreams of indoor victory and flying score books.
Friday in Vienna
Henry awoke us at the ungodly hour of 11am. He was in good spirits and had a good look about him. We slithered out of bed and took turns in the shower. Hugo rolled over in bed and settled in for the day. The rest of us went out for a nice lunch. George had Schnitzel, Henry had Schnitzel, Dave had fish soup, Chalky had spaghetti bolognese to start and William's spaghetti bolognese for main. We toyed with the idea of getting wigs made but decided against it. More shops, tea and back to the hotel to meet Simon who was due.
Hugo was just getting up but was in good spirits. Everyone else went back to bed. Simon arrived and checked into his luxury apartment which was luxurious. At 6 we all met in the bar wearing our best shirts and tidy trousers. We toasted the birth of John Bachelors new baby William and headed off to the WeinBar to meet Wolfie. Wolf was there looking smart but not overdressed. We had a drink and then he asked us into the basement.
We went down to a lovely skittles alley and drank beer and played skittles. Hugo played well and Chalky used his fingers. William was billed as 'the best natural bowler of his generation' but failed to live up to such heights.
Off to the bar for beer and Schnitzel. While the Austrians were watching an Austrian on the verge of Gold in the Biathalon Hugo tried to put on the rugby, flabbergasted that his demands were not being met. Large portions of Schnitzel, large mugs of beer and an excellent anecdote or two made for a good evening. The Austrian won silver. We went to the 4 Bells pub where we met Bob/Robert/Dad/Knuckles. He was in good spirits and looked like a million dollars. Gin, Jagermeisters and gin were purchased as our wallets felt lighter and lighter. Chalky disappeared and was found upstairs with the owner of the bar and Wolfie. The only clue into what they were talking about was the sentence 'it weighs about as much as a large sausage and costs 18 Euros.' Hmm...
Chalks then headed home in his tremendously smart vest. The remainder headed out to Volksgarten.
Indoor Cricket
An early start, about 9am. Hugo was up bright and early, cheery as a hummingbird. Green trousers on, box put in, pads packed, cricket shirts on, hair combed and face moisturised. Dave said goodbye and we left him to do whatever it is he does during the day. We headed off very much looking the part of an elite indoor cricket team. Scorer, manager and 5 players. Our dry lips were very much the talking point of the journey, along with Austrian architecture. The news that Norman would not make it out weighed heavy on our hearts that morning. We located the gym, said hello to the usual suspects and went to practice on an artificial football pitch. Duncan the 6th man arrived which cheered us greatly. His gung ho attitude and curly barnet was just what we needed.
The first game was against the old foe Vienna Cricket Club. Chalky summoned George to toss up. They tossed, George won but it turned out that the VCC representative was just a spectator and nothing to do with VCC. It transpired that Chalky could not find the VCC captain so grabbed the nearest person to him. We then found a player who seemed happy enough to partake. After a few wild tosses and some searching for the coin we were ready.
Transcript of the toss:
Chalky: OK. VCC call. Heads or Tails?
VCC Player: Heads!
Chalky: Heads it is!
George: Hang on. That's not heads. This coin has a 2 and a horse. Toss again. 2 or horse?
Game 1
F&P lost and were inserted into the field. Simon (I've played over 400 games of indoor cricket and never been bowled) Bachelor open the bowling and struck gold by having the VCC captain roofed. We ploughed on, some good bowling, some poor. VCC put on some good partnerships but F&P took valuable wickets. Hugo bowled well and we caught our catches. 120 was a par score and very gettable. Simon and Will opened. Will was bowled. Simon plodded on. Hugo was bowled. Simon went well. Duncan lost it and ran himself out. Henry and Simon went well, with Simon retiring. George roofed. Henry and Simon could not carry us home and we were all out for 70. A poor show from a batting team. John Bach Simon was Chalky’s Man of the Match.
Game 2
We strolled off to McDonald's for lunch. Then strolled back to the Bundesgymnasium. Our green trousers looked delicious in the bright sunshine. Game 2 was a must win game against Lords CC, the Gratz (twinned with Coventry) indoor champions. We were put into bat. Willliam and Simon opened. William was bowled. Simon, Hugo and Henry went well. With Simon and Hugo in the hutch we had a good chance of a big score but 3 run outs in the last 2 overs meant that we were all out for 120, par. We started well with wickets. Duncan's bowling was going smoothly. Lords crept towards the total with a man in the hutch. Strong nerves kept us in it and Lords needed 10 off 2 overs, one wicket left, Simon on to bowl. The field was set 3:1 with the leg side open. Only 4 needed and they fell into the trap. Simon bowled straight, batsman missed, mad appealing and the umpire's finger was up. F&P win! Wild celebrations and much hugging! Through to the next round. John Bach Simon was Chalky’s Man of the Match.
One of the usual teams met us as we walked off and through habit offered their commiserations. We packed and were off to change and Bob, George, Hugo, Henry and Simon headed to the Irish pub for the rugby. We arrived and England were 5 - 0 down already and the Irish were in full voice. Several beers and discussions of the merits of the England pack later we went to Pointers to meet the rest of the teams. The evening went like this:
- Schnitzel, beer, shots, tablefootball,
- Schnitzel, beer, speeches,
- Chalky's open mouth syndrome,
- shouting, cabs, shots,
- bunker bars
- Duncan being head butted by a Glaswegian.
Game 3
A very early start. A must win game awaited against the Pakistan VI. They wore lovely green tops that matched our lovely green trousers. We warmed up, won the toss and readied ourselves to bowl. It all went well. Too well. They managed 120 (which was par) and we congratulated our selves on a good team performance. The opposition were ready early and waiting for our batsmen. However our top 4 batsmen were all queuing for the toilet. They had to make some key decisions fast.
The upshot was that Henry and Simon opened. F&P went well. Simon being dismissed before he could retire but Henry followed at 25*. Hugo carried on with Will. Duncan and George fell in 2 balls and it was left to Henry and Hugo to see us home. We fell short and were effectively out of the tournament. Misery! A good shot but our batting was again shown to be too loose. John Bach Simon was Chalky’s Man of the Match. At this point Bob left us to head off back to Bristol via the cold wastelands of central Europe.
Game 4
Lunch in a Japanese restaurant fired us up for what was the 3rd/4th play off against the Austrian VI. F&P batted first and hit 120 (par). We then bowled true and straight and set a good field. The game was slipping away from us, or so we thought. No one knew the score. After every over there was shouting between the umpires, fielders and the scorer. Chalky was batting off advice from all sides and we got their in the end. Key wickets meant that F&P shot to victory landing us in 3rd place, our highest position. John Bach Simon was Chalky’s Man of the Match.
The Final
VCC played the Pakistani VI beating them easily. We felt that it should be us in the final taking a pasting and not PVI. A presentation and some very awkward photographs ended the day well. We went home and headed out for a nice meal, wine and cheese. Most had Schnitzel. We attempted to do fines but people kept ripping up or swallowing the fines sheet.
We have already been invited back to the Vienna Wintercup 2011 so book in the last weekend in Feb! John Bach Simon was Chalky’s Man of the Tour.
